HOME!!!!

This is the front entrance to my new home. I move in at the beginning of August. Gwenn, I thought you would like to see it because it will be a while till you see my new home! Anyway, after you get in the gate this is the entrance into my building.

I'm so excited!!! There are a couple differences. There are these old style rot iron lamp posts. And the railing is finished. It looks very nice. And what you can see is that on either side of the sidewalk (which is actually a bridge) there's a huge drop and tons of vinces. It's very beautiful.


This is another view of the apartments. Really nice. This is actually a picture from the small parking lot infront of this. It's closed of from the street and there's a gate to get in. There's also a tiny parking lot for visitors. Not that it's neccessary. Nearby Stetson Ave has plenty of parking. And they are building a parking garage and several brand new apartment buildings nearby. Which means the area will only get better. Yay! And I'm by a police station and a hospital. Hurray for that too. Anyway, one more picture.

Here is the floor plan.
So I think I'm going to put the bed against the wall that also goes along the living room. And from there I don't know. Don't know what my furniture will be yet.
In the living room the tv has to go in the bottom left hand corner so I'll probaby have my tv there, my sterio next to it, and my desk in the bottom right hand corner and some shalves against the wall that borders the bedroom. Not a lot of furniture yet. But I'm excited. Mom and I are going to go check out some antique stores for furniture. Buy things cheap. Repaint and refinish them. Give them a fresh new look. And then bring it to Cincy. I think it will be a really fun project. And it will be cheap. And I won't feel like my parents are picking everything. Because we both know how much I hate the thought of that, even though I love my parents to pieces.

Zzzz....

I am dead dog tired.

Gwenn!!!!!

I can't wait to move out and come home.

I am not: good at this
I hate: this think on top of your head quickly survey
I fear: being alone
I regret: little
I cry: out loud
I always: can do better
I sing: boldly
I dance: badly
I learn: quickly... you'd think
I feel: like I have cotton wedged in the corners of my mouth
I fight: bad habits... wait, no I don't.

I am not: tired
I love: clarinet
I hate: my theory TA
I fear: growing old and fat
I hope: I kick ass this summer
I hear: birds outside my window
I crave: success
I regret: many of the things I've done over the years. But I'm trying to learn.
I cry: when I'm frustrated with clarinet
I care: more than you can imagine
I always: try to do the right things
I believe: that music is a part of my soul and that I am on the right path
I feel alone: in that I don't have a partner. I like that. I love my independence.
I listen: all the time.
I hide: in my room, away from the world.
I drive: all the time. It's therapeutic.
I sing: a lot!
I dance: all the time.
I write: when I feel like it.
I play: the clarinet. And frisbee.
I miss: what it feels like to be truly in love. I miss hot summer days. I miss swimming outside. I miss Oklahoma. I miss Gwenn. I miss my dog, that I'll never see again. I miss the places I've never seen.
I search: for meaning in everything.
I learn: so much everyday. Especially on Mondays.
I feel: happy, content, excited scaried, secure and insecure, loved, special, energized, and something else that doesn't have a word.
I know: more now than I did yesterday, but less than I will tomorrow.
I say: "Dear God, Please don't let my father pick out my furniture!"
I succeed: when I listen to Ixi. And I succeed when I balance work and play.
I dream: as much during the day as I do during the night.
I want: love, success, mess and chaos balanced by beauty and silence, good food, and rich future.
I have: more than I feel I deserve.
I give: as much as I can. And then I still feel like I can give more.
I fell: when I tried too hard.
I fight: quietly.
I need: solitude, silence, nature, Oklahoma, friends, family, love, food, Cincinnati, and sleep.

SO I made it through the storm. I'm not where I want to be with performance. But I think I've improved. And I hope to keep it up.

I have a new student. I am so excited!

And I'm going be signing a lease. I hope. I'm excited about that as well. Yahoooo! And I have an awesome summer lined up. And I have another half a quarter to go and then I can move out!

And Gwenn...she's already having her finals. I can't believe it. And she'll already be moved in by the time I get home. Gwenn! And Kaiser. And Kelsey. And their furniture. New home. I wish I could be there. Maybe I can help paint... :P

Ok...Breathe

Soon it will all be over. The first three days of this week will be behind me. And then it will be Saturday again...and I can start to feel like a human rather than a robot-octopus-clarinet- machine.

Trrrrouble.

Had an interview today... and I've applied to three other places. I haven't heard from the others. That bothers me. The only problem with the place that I'm applying to work now is that it doesn't begin until May 22; so what do I do for work for the month before? I have to pay rent somehow... I doubt I can start earlier; but ... maybe I can find a job for a month at some place that really needs it. Telemarketer or Panera... something. G-d always provides, though. I have no doubt in that. It will all work out. But there's another job that I just applied for, and I think it'd be a better deal. I really want that one, but I just sent in the application a couple days ago, so I can't contact them for another week... So I'll just sit and wait until then. This week... a project's due. I'm running behind. Gosh. Have to step it up. But I also have this beautiful distraction on one side... and it's hard to really step it up.

I'm just getting myself into more and more trouble, aren't I?

Weber

This man is dangerous. If you see this man call 1-800-NO- MORE-CONCERTOS. Or visit www.musicaltorture.com/crimes_against_humanity/CCM.



Ok...so I'm kidding. But right now I do believe this man is dangerous. And if I had some magic bullets.....

Life's Rich, Man!

Micheal and I were going to go clarinet hunting today. But my car is going to cost too much to get fixed. So I'm going to suck it up and deal with the piece of shit Yamaha A clarinet I have.

But ya know, on the upside, at least I have an A clarinet. And I'm signing a lease on Monday. And I know what I'm going to do this summer. And life is rich.

Miracle, Please?

I'm praying that I make it through the next couple of days. In fact, the next couple of weeks.


I have a lot to accomplish in a short amount of time. So maybe I need to change my habbits? Who knows. I think maybe I just need to "get 'er done".

Working girl?

So I am trying to find work to do over the summer... so while I'm applying other places, I'm quite avoiding the work that I need to get done now. It isn't good. I can't take summer break 3 weeks early... Okay. After tonight, I'm really going to get my butt into gear. Really.

Tropicoso

I went salsa dancing at the Tropicoso in Newport with Rachel and Allysa. It was awesome. I had a great time. I loved the live music and the dancing. Reggatones were fun too. I danced with some good dancers and then there were some old Mexican guys that hardly moved and were really bad at leading. There was one man that kept asking me to dance and after going through three dances in a row my feet were killing me and I decided it was time to take a break. He was offended and he came over to my table and wanted to give me a number of someplace to go to learn salsa. Then I was offended so he started talking to Carmen (a singer at the tropicoso) in Spanish and she told him to get lost. I had fun dancing with the girls. I think I'll definitely go back lots.

Hunting

It's funny how life happens. How your not always sure what to expect.







I'm looking at apartments today. I really hope I like something I see because the process of finding some place to live is tedious and tiresome. And I'm ready to be done. Over. No more. The end.

Home Warm Home

Today it's supposed to be 81 degrees F in Oklahoma. I really miss that kind of weather. At least we have sunshine in Cincinnati.

I want a new Clarinet

I watch my pennies closely. But my piggy keeps eating them. Thankfully. My piggy isn't fat though. He's just hungry. Oh stupid piggy. Why don't you go grow a money tree?

All Schickele Mixed-Up

I just finished a concert with Peter Schickele. It was a blast. The Octoot was amazing. And the grand piece was a smash. PDQ Bach himself was quite a riot. And Professor Schickele was quite adept at keeping him incheck. The melodies were familiar of course. At times becoming odd and lost in translation...Or perhaps becoming confused with other familiar melodies; all of them creating a harmonious cacophony of intermixed chaos and laughter. The concert was fun. And I enjoyed gurgling on the final Bb in the second movement. The audience enjoyed it as well.

I'm seeing it

Uh oh...

UHHHH!

This Week I'm going to KICK ASS!

ThursDAY!

Beautiful morning that started with practice.

I've started getting up at 6am instead of 7am. And I really like it. Especially since I can pick a practice room with a view of the sunrise, albeit it's over a soccar field. I do have to go to bed earlier. But what am I missing? Late night TV? Doesn't matter. Don't have a TV. Forget that. Anyway, it was going to be a busy day. But the headstart should leave me a little more time at the end of the day to not feel so hurried.

Can't Break Spring Anymore

Today it was pretty glorious outside. Even when it got cloudy the air was fresh with humidity. I love it.

Anyway, it's Spring Quarter. It's time to pile on the bitch work and start digging. So...I'm going to dig my little ass off. And hopefully if I play my cards right I'll have time to do everything I need to do, practice clarinet the way I want to, and still have time for friends and fun. I hope.

To Gwenn...

TO GWENN!

who never called me back after her initial B-day greetings from me which leads me to believe that she is being smothered with birthday love from all her friends at OSU. Or at least I hope so. Cause I spent all day learning songs on the piano for you :D

And it was.

It was an amazing experience. There will always be more that you can do... more to see, more to experience. But all that means is that we just have to go back and do it next time. For what we had though, we made the most of it. And you can't complain. At all. Life is good.

She went....

So much happened this week. Now my place feels empty. I liked having the girls around even though half the time I couldn't have fun with them....I always wished I was hanging out with them. And I hope they liked what they saw of Da Nati. Apparrently they didn't see any cute boys. But hopefully on the bright sunny days they enjoyed being somewhere other than home.

Almost here! The suspense is killing me. I wish I had cleaned. But it's busy. I'm glad I'll get to see my girls today. Cause I can't wait anymore!

Exhausted

Don't I know what that's like.

I am probably saying this for the first time in my life: I really can not wait to go back to Oklahoma. I miss being outdoors constantly. I miss the warm weather. I miss how the speed limit is hardly ever below 70 mph. I can't wait to wake-up to dewy grassed mornings that blossom into warm/hot days and then the cool evenings. I miss my family. I miss tv. I really didn't bother with tv over winter break. Although I did kind of learn how to use a dvr. I miss everything. I miss how much nothing there is to do and how much fun it is to fill it up. This is where I can fill my time with art, exercise, reading, outdoors...everything. I CAN'T WAIT. I need to go home. NOW. Ok...it can wait. Gwenn's coming :)

A little Worn

I'm feeling a little worn out. Actually, if I am completely honest, this week hasn't felt any more rough for me than any other Charette week. It's kinda nice, in an odd way. Most people are fretting over the work load and the stress of this week... and they all feel very far behind. I personally don't feel any farther behind than I always am. And that's kind of a cool thought- that I'm on the same level with everyone else, but I'm not feeling bad about it. Okay, that isn't a cool thought. It's just a cool deal.
I'll tell you though... I love any excuse to get away from the desk. What can I say, I prefer to go in intervals. And honestly... I also like curling up with a laptop and music and typing to town. But I don't have anything to type about... so I'm just rambling. Ah what can I say? I like doing it every now and again. I fell asleep in the car earlier waiting for Panera to open. It was kinda nice... except my eyes were more sleepy than they had been earlier. I can't blame them.
Well... Looking forward to that road trip. Three nights and counting...

MyMindKeepsTellingMeNo,ButMyBody...

LAWeinstein: Anyway, I've been stuffed up, coughing etc. But it's getting better. It already got worse, so now it's getting better. And by the time it's gone I'll b ready for my period. Yay!!!!! Joy ride!!!!!

LAWeinstein: I think my body is trying to take me out.

Eva no longer covered in road salt!!!

I got my car washed today!!!!!!!!!!! It is SO BEAUTIFUL!!!!! And I cleaned out the backseat and all the programs and papers that people leave in the door. I cleaned out my trunk. Nothing was really dirty. But I just wanted to get rid of the little clutter I did have. I love it when my car is completely empty and....clean. Brand new. That's how I kept my Lexus. And that's how I keep my car. I love my car...I love Eva....

The House

is not this one. But imagine it one story... change the blue paint to a white, and the white trim to a creamish yellow. There aren't any fancy canopy roofings that cover the porch, or the front facade window. The porch is very much the same, though... there is one window that sits behind the porch, like this picture. There is one window that sits at the front facade, as well... so take out that small window in the picture (along with the top level). There isn't a walkway that leads to the porch from this direction. The stairs are on the end (south) side; they come up from where we park our cars (along the side of the house). There aren't any hedges at all... to contain grass and weed, the landlords just spray Round Up annually. So here's what we/I plan to do with it: since it is a simple house, we must keep the decorations simple. Otherwise the styles would clash, or seem out of place. Since they spray Round Up every year, we might just avoid planting all together. Okay: where the stairs are in the above picture, I plan on putting/making some stairs there. Either buy pre-cemented stairs, or make them out of railroad ties, cement blocks, or we'll see. We'll add a walkway heading from the stairs made out of stepping stones... perhaps line that walkway with gravel around those stones. We'll paint the trim and the pole-support black, and perhaps the door red. I want to add a little diamond-crossed fence along the end of the porch (where the fence is now in the above picture). In front of that we might add some vinery that could crawl up that fence... perhaps some sort of low, annual bush that doesn't need any maintenance and can last through the years. We'll hang a wind chime, potted plant, or colorful candle holders from the porch roof. There will definately be potted plants somewhere about the porch, or around it... There's still a lot of debate about what we'll do, but that's the general idea so far. Inside: imagine the house diveded into two equal parts. You walk into one part that takes up 2/3 of the space: this is the living room / dining area (it's large.. very nice). Then you walk into a cross section... from here you can go forward into the Kitchen/ laundry room (that's right, we have a laundry area), or you can make a left. If you go forward after you make the left, you'll reach the bathroom. If you make another left, you'll go into Chelsea's room (her window is what you see from the porch), or you can make a right into my room.
There are five window units. To save money, we'll open windows and use fans, then use a couple window units if we have to. Space heaters will probably be used during the winter... and we might paint one wall in the house a different color. I like the idea of painting the North side wall of the living room (the one you see when you walk in) a deep red. With a red door, that'd match beautifully. We'll have pictures, candle holders that extend from the wall, plants, my baker's rack (hopefully), and all sorts of litte decorations through out the house. We'll also have a set of wine glasses and a choice beverage just for those sorts of nights... and a beautiful porch to enjoy it on. Oh! I found a white wicker chair (very adorable) next to the dumpster the other day... so that'll go on the porch as well. We might add some tiki candles to enjoy the porch at night, also.

Now... don't you want to visit?

Warmther

It's 85.

Warmth

Today it is supposed to be 60 degrees farenheit outside. I am so stoked. I love this warm weather, even if it means it is killing my reeds. Doesn't matter because I kill them anyway.

Bed knobs and broom sticks

I'm finally starting to slowly catch up on my sleep. I feel better. I feel relieved. Less stressed.


Sometimes there are so many things to be done that I forget how important it is to take care of myself. I think it's hard to break bad habits. But I've heard the best way to break old bad habits is to adopt new good habits.

Pretty in Pink

I only made this post so that I didn't have to look at Les's horrific image below. If you haven't seen it... well, don't look now. It's not worth it.

You'll be scarred for life; I'm warning you.

And, no, it's not a picture of Les's rump.

Hahahahahahahaha...

I LOVE LESLIE WITH A PASSION OF AN ITALIAN STALLION!

School

I have a paper due tomorrow, two theory assignments, a Hebrew quiz, and piano stuff. I'm actually not that worried. But I'm feeling the pressure.

Life's A Dance

You learn as you go.

Sometimes you lead... sometimes you follow.

Don't worry about what you don't know.

Because life's a dance...

You learn as you go.

And some people will just never get it. ha.

She...She sleeps in silence...

Wake up when I call you...Damn it!!!!

To the Young at Heart

We're not all grown up. Right? We need to keep reaching for something. I think.

Men...

IT'S RAINING MEN, HALLELUJAH, IT'S RAINING MEN!

I have an audition. I'm not actually certain what time it's supposed to be. I have to show up at 11am and they'll figure out when they want me to go. Haha, I hope I don't have to wait all day. I've been awake since 7am. I went to bed early. And I just couldn't help it. I woke up. So...I ran through my pieces like 3 times each. And they are solid. My reeds are good. I personally don't think it matters what reed I play. No matter what I'll sound like me. I'm very happy. But I know that I'll feel even better when it's over.

Right now I'm picturing Italy. Bike rides with bottles of wine in the basket and a loaf of bread and fruit. And in my back pack I would have a book, a magazine, an ipod (once I buy one), a baggie of grapes and apple, an Italian dictionary, a pen and a notebook, a camera, and some music. And I won't forget my bathing suit and sunscreen. And I can imagine rehearsals. I can imagine the heated performances on sweet Italian nights, whatever those are like. I can imagine swimming and thinking "This is just like America." I can see myself making my first call to my parents from Italy. And I just know what they'll say.

I can picture this summer. And I just know it's going to be great!

She Comes Again.

I do believe that I make things more complicated than they really are.

She came...but then She went...

I loveth you too, in all the ways I can. And I think you should be you and not a me. You are a part of me. But you are not all of me. And I am a part of you. But likewise, I am not all of you. So you should stay a you while I will be a me.

El Sensitivo

I was watching this guy play guitar at the Kennedy Center. My mom calls him Geetarzan because he's so amazing. And before he started playing a song he said, "Whenever I pick up this guitar I become Mr. El Sensitivo." And that's how I feel about clarinet. Whenever I pick it up I transform. Or I try. I try to morf into other things. It's a complete ongoing process. It envelopes my imagination, all my energy, all my intellect, all of my heart. Oh music...

V-Day

Hurray for Valentine's Day!!! (I love any excuse to celebrate!!!)

+ vs. -

If I hate negative energy, is that hatred a negative energy in and of itself?

$$$$

Stamps are now $0.39. Which I personally find a bit pricey. And Postcards are only $0.27. Now...I put a $0.37 stamp on my postcard. And this crazy lady, who works the front desk in the builing I live in, insists on returning the postcard and demanding an extra $0.02 on my postcard. Now last I check, tampering with someone's mail is a federal offense. Secondly, demanding money is the government's job.

Gwenn...I can't believe you forgot.

Anyway, So I miss my Gwenni-the-Poop.