Zzzz....

I am dead dog tired.

Gwenn!!!!!

I can't wait to move out and come home.

I am not: good at this
I hate: this think on top of your head quickly survey
I fear: being alone
I regret: little
I cry: out loud
I always: can do better
I sing: boldly
I dance: badly
I learn: quickly... you'd think
I feel: like I have cotton wedged in the corners of my mouth
I fight: bad habits... wait, no I don't.

I am not: tired
I love: clarinet
I hate: my theory TA
I fear: growing old and fat
I hope: I kick ass this summer
I hear: birds outside my window
I crave: success
I regret: many of the things I've done over the years. But I'm trying to learn.
I cry: when I'm frustrated with clarinet
I care: more than you can imagine
I always: try to do the right things
I believe: that music is a part of my soul and that I am on the right path
I feel alone: in that I don't have a partner. I like that. I love my independence.
I listen: all the time.
I hide: in my room, away from the world.
I drive: all the time. It's therapeutic.
I sing: a lot!
I dance: all the time.
I write: when I feel like it.
I play: the clarinet. And frisbee.
I miss: what it feels like to be truly in love. I miss hot summer days. I miss swimming outside. I miss Oklahoma. I miss Gwenn. I miss my dog, that I'll never see again. I miss the places I've never seen.
I search: for meaning in everything.
I learn: so much everyday. Especially on Mondays.
I feel: happy, content, excited scaried, secure and insecure, loved, special, energized, and something else that doesn't have a word.
I know: more now than I did yesterday, but less than I will tomorrow.
I say: "Dear God, Please don't let my father pick out my furniture!"
I succeed: when I listen to Ixi. And I succeed when I balance work and play.
I dream: as much during the day as I do during the night.
I want: love, success, mess and chaos balanced by beauty and silence, good food, and rich future.
I have: more than I feel I deserve.
I give: as much as I can. And then I still feel like I can give more.
I fell: when I tried too hard.
I fight: quietly.
I need: solitude, silence, nature, Oklahoma, friends, family, love, food, Cincinnati, and sleep.

SO I made it through the storm. I'm not where I want to be with performance. But I think I've improved. And I hope to keep it up.

I have a new student. I am so excited!

And I'm going be signing a lease. I hope. I'm excited about that as well. Yahoooo! And I have an awesome summer lined up. And I have another half a quarter to go and then I can move out!

And Gwenn...she's already having her finals. I can't believe it. And she'll already be moved in by the time I get home. Gwenn! And Kaiser. And Kelsey. And their furniture. New home. I wish I could be there. Maybe I can help paint... :P

Ok...Breathe

Soon it will all be over. The first three days of this week will be behind me. And then it will be Saturday again...and I can start to feel like a human rather than a robot-octopus-clarinet- machine.

Trrrrouble.

Had an interview today... and I've applied to three other places. I haven't heard from the others. That bothers me. The only problem with the place that I'm applying to work now is that it doesn't begin until May 22; so what do I do for work for the month before? I have to pay rent somehow... I doubt I can start earlier; but ... maybe I can find a job for a month at some place that really needs it. Telemarketer or Panera... something. G-d always provides, though. I have no doubt in that. It will all work out. But there's another job that I just applied for, and I think it'd be a better deal. I really want that one, but I just sent in the application a couple days ago, so I can't contact them for another week... So I'll just sit and wait until then. This week... a project's due. I'm running behind. Gosh. Have to step it up. But I also have this beautiful distraction on one side... and it's hard to really step it up.

I'm just getting myself into more and more trouble, aren't I?

Weber

This man is dangerous. If you see this man call 1-800-NO- MORE-CONCERTOS. Or visit www.musicaltorture.com/crimes_against_humanity/CCM.



Ok...so I'm kidding. But right now I do believe this man is dangerous. And if I had some magic bullets.....

Life's Rich, Man!

Micheal and I were going to go clarinet hunting today. But my car is going to cost too much to get fixed. So I'm going to suck it up and deal with the piece of shit Yamaha A clarinet I have.

But ya know, on the upside, at least I have an A clarinet. And I'm signing a lease on Monday. And I know what I'm going to do this summer. And life is rich.

Miracle, Please?

I'm praying that I make it through the next couple of days. In fact, the next couple of weeks.


I have a lot to accomplish in a short amount of time. So maybe I need to change my habbits? Who knows. I think maybe I just need to "get 'er done".

Working girl?

So I am trying to find work to do over the summer... so while I'm applying other places, I'm quite avoiding the work that I need to get done now. It isn't good. I can't take summer break 3 weeks early... Okay. After tonight, I'm really going to get my butt into gear. Really.

Tropicoso

I went salsa dancing at the Tropicoso in Newport with Rachel and Allysa. It was awesome. I had a great time. I loved the live music and the dancing. Reggatones were fun too. I danced with some good dancers and then there were some old Mexican guys that hardly moved and were really bad at leading. There was one man that kept asking me to dance and after going through three dances in a row my feet were killing me and I decided it was time to take a break. He was offended and he came over to my table and wanted to give me a number of someplace to go to learn salsa. Then I was offended so he started talking to Carmen (a singer at the tropicoso) in Spanish and she told him to get lost. I had fun dancing with the girls. I think I'll definitely go back lots.

Hunting

It's funny how life happens. How your not always sure what to expect.







I'm looking at apartments today. I really hope I like something I see because the process of finding some place to live is tedious and tiresome. And I'm ready to be done. Over. No more. The end.

Home Warm Home

Today it's supposed to be 81 degrees F in Oklahoma. I really miss that kind of weather. At least we have sunshine in Cincinnati.

I want a new Clarinet

I watch my pennies closely. But my piggy keeps eating them. Thankfully. My piggy isn't fat though. He's just hungry. Oh stupid piggy. Why don't you go grow a money tree?

All Schickele Mixed-Up

I just finished a concert with Peter Schickele. It was a blast. The Octoot was amazing. And the grand piece was a smash. PDQ Bach himself was quite a riot. And Professor Schickele was quite adept at keeping him incheck. The melodies were familiar of course. At times becoming odd and lost in translation...Or perhaps becoming confused with other familiar melodies; all of them creating a harmonious cacophony of intermixed chaos and laughter. The concert was fun. And I enjoyed gurgling on the final Bb in the second movement. The audience enjoyed it as well.

I'm seeing it

Uh oh...

UHHHH!

This Week I'm going to KICK ASS!

ThursDAY!

Beautiful morning that started with practice.

I've started getting up at 6am instead of 7am. And I really like it. Especially since I can pick a practice room with a view of the sunrise, albeit it's over a soccar field. I do have to go to bed earlier. But what am I missing? Late night TV? Doesn't matter. Don't have a TV. Forget that. Anyway, it was going to be a busy day. But the headstart should leave me a little more time at the end of the day to not feel so hurried.

Can't Break Spring Anymore

Today it was pretty glorious outside. Even when it got cloudy the air was fresh with humidity. I love it.

Anyway, it's Spring Quarter. It's time to pile on the bitch work and start digging. So...I'm going to dig my little ass off. And hopefully if I play my cards right I'll have time to do everything I need to do, practice clarinet the way I want to, and still have time for friends and fun. I hope.