Gwenn-
I love post cards. They sell them here in cafes and book stores and those cheap trinket shops. My kitchen and refridgerator are covered in postcards. Dizzy Gillespie, old houses, cat woman, a girl with a pony, two women holding a parasol laughing on a beach in ancient bathing suits, the ones that cover everything up except your knees. It's about time I sent them.
Everytime I see a postcard, I think of you. And the postcards I lost in North Carolina. Oh they said great things on them. I wrote them during rehearsals. Amazing music. Like Debussy Nocturnes and Beethoven Symphonies and Hindemith Mathis der Mahler. I got to play a great part on that piece. It was amazing until the third or fourth movement. The damn violas weren't with the rest of the string section and I'm trying to figure out what the hell is going on....and the first oboe gets done playing her solo just as miffed as I am and I have to come in...but which of the three tempos do I take? No one is together and it's totally stressing me out and the minute the conductor stops to work with the strings
Anyway, I'm really sorry those post cards never made it anywhere. I was secretly hoping someone would find them and drop them in the mail. I thought I packed them. But something always seems to disappear when you travel from one place to the next. Like I lost those post cards. And flying from home to Cincinnati I lost a blue cardigan by Lux. My favorite. I swore I packed it. Right on top. Or on my way from Israel to JFK I know I lost a set of post cards and some charms from Rachov Ben Yehuda m'lev Yerushalim. Anyway, today I might pick up more post cards and start writing to you again. Right now you seem like a different person to me. I don't know what it is. Do you?
Anyway, Things have felt weird this weekend. I've been ruminating....I really wish you were here right now. Sometimes the one thing you need is that best friend who has known you through all your years of puberty, bad boyfriends, crazy rebellion, car accidents, everything and then college. I just need a big fat huge dose of Gwennliness. When am I going to see you next???
Love you Gwenn,
Lez
3 comments:
It's hard not having the person you need when you need them the most
totally.
then again, you always have me. it's not the same, I know, but at least we have that. right?
I have two other cards that i've written you some time ago, and they are still sitting in my notebook. They change places: they'll go from my purse, to my desk, to right in front of the mirror where I sit in the mornings to get ready, to my journal, to my purse again. And somehow, that's the only traveling they get. dangit. Time for some stamps!
Sometimes I'll wonder about things... and I've always found it interesting that our friendship has always been apart. Over the summers, breaks, and now college. In highschool we were together, but not always close. Wild, huh? I'll be reading in a book about a girl talking to her best friend on the phone. And then they go shopping and get a drink later that night. I think, that's weird; I'm not used to that idea. Oh to hang out... to friggin go get a drink and talk about our day and life. Damn. I miss that.
Annnnnnnnd (okay, this will be a long message- one to make up for all the ones I haven't said yet) we talk about how we ought to live together, or near eachother, in the future. But I wonder if that will really happen. I mean really. Of course, no on knows, but somehow it doesn't seem like it will ever happened.
I don't know how I have changed, really. I mean, I suppose I have. But I didn't know it was something that seemed like a change. How do I seem different?
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