Would you?

If you could see where you would be in 10 years, would you?

Missing...

I really miss Oklahoma and my family right now.


P.S. This year is Oklahoma's Centenial...Yeehaw for that!

Post Card

Gwenn-
I love post cards. They sell them here in cafes and book stores and those cheap trinket shops. My kitchen and refridgerator are covered in postcards. Dizzy Gillespie, old houses, cat woman, a girl with a pony, two women holding a parasol laughing on a beach in ancient bathing suits, the ones that cover everything up except your knees. It's about time I sent them.

Everytime I see a postcard, I think of you. And the postcards I lost in North Carolina. Oh they said great things on them. I wrote them during rehearsals. Amazing music. Like Debussy Nocturnes and Beethoven Symphonies and Hindemith Mathis der Mahler. I got to play a great part on that piece. It was amazing until the third or fourth movement. The damn violas weren't with the rest of the string section and I'm trying to figure out what the hell is going on....and the first oboe gets done playing her solo just as miffed as I am and I have to come in...but which of the three tempos do I take? No one is together and it's totally stressing me out and the minute the conductor stops to work with the strings I pull out a post card and release everything to you, Gwenn.

Anyway, I'm really sorry those post cards never made it anywhere. I was secretly hoping someone would find them and drop them in the mail. I thought I packed them. But something always seems to disappear when you travel from one place to the next. Like I lost those post cards. And flying from home to Cincinnati I lost a blue cardigan by Lux. My favorite. I swore I packed it. Right on top. Or on my way from Israel to JFK I know I lost a set of post cards and some charms from Rachov Ben Yehuda m'lev Yerushalim. Anyway, today I might pick up more post cards and start writing to you again. Right now you seem like a different person to me. I don't know what it is. Do you?

Anyway, Things have felt weird this weekend. I've been ruminating....I really wish you were here right now. Sometimes the one thing you need is that best friend who has known you through all your years of puberty, bad boyfriends, crazy rebellion, car accidents, everything and then college. I just need a big fat huge dose of Gwennliness. When am I going to see you next???

Love you Gwenn,

Lez

*****

I don't feel like myself today. I hate it.

I love Friday!

I only have one class! So plenty of time to practice extra, grab lunch, workout, etc. I might even actually get groceries too! Haha. I've been living off of what little is left in my kitchen. A box of cereal. Crackers. A couple horrible oranges that are too dry. Tostitos. So unhealthy. But I just don't want to bother with groceries. ARG! Underlying issue here is: I should tackle the things I always avoid. Like the bank, the grocery store, Fed-ex. It's about time I stopped procrastinating about certain things. Oy. And I thought today was all about practicing and working out. Oh boo!

Crazy-love!

I am a hopeless romantic. Every possible interest I have I scrutinize. I wonder if he could be the one, I look to see how we're compatible, I look to see the irony and beauty of it; I look to see how numbers fit together in it; how our colors match; how songs work with it too. I'm crazy. love. crazy-love!

and now, I am being kicked out of this wonderful little coffee shop at 1:00 am because that is when it closes. I'm thinking about working here... perhaps after the summer. Perhaps sooner. Depends.

Airport Dud

So back during Thanksgiving, my parents got me a last minute flight to OKC. Originaly my mother had planned on visiting me. But she's not the traveling type. She's a homebody at heart and traveling makes her nervous. And besides, it's tough for a family to be apart on Thanksgiving. So I took a last minute flight out of Cincinnati.

I was rushing to get through security because I am always in a rush. Maybe it's that whole Interlochen mentality of: "To be early is to be ontime, to be on time is to be late." So I've got the whole airport routine down pat. My shoes are off the minute I approach security because I am speed demon....but not everyone is a speed demon. I'm almost through securityand currently waiting for my backpack to come through with my shoes. Some stud was putting on his shoes and I didn't really take much notice him other than his existence. He was having a hard time and taking forever. Not a speed demon, like self. So I slipped my shoes on (Tip: always wear comfy, good walking slip-ons). And then I started to swing my backpack over my shoulder. *Wham* Knocked the stud over. Shoot! Helped him up and apologised. Then I noticed a sax case over his shoulder. So I asked him if he went to CCM (my school). He did. And we introduced ourselves and walked to the train that would wisk us to our bus that would transport us to Terminal C (Delta Terminal of CVG). So we hit it off and spent the next couple of hours digressing and waiting for our planes. It seemed like we really hit it off. But of course, you can't think too much of such meetings. Why have expectations?

So I went home. Had turkey and forgot about said stud. I also forgot that I would see him in Wind Symph. back at CCM. Well, I would expect said stud to not be dud and never say hello. The dud sits right behind me for 2 hours twice a week and I can turn around and say hello!!!! Sup with that? So said stud is now a real dud. Maybe he isn't. But there's no way he couldn't recognise me. I don't think I've met anyone who looks like me. And I'll be honest, I didn't remember him at first. But still. I said hello....(I don't remember dud's name. But I will find it on tonight's concert program. Why? I don't know. Maybe so that I can further make him feel bad by remembering his name...which I didn't remember. And one more problem. He's not the only sax player back there. Which one has which name? On second hand effort seems a waste.)

Anyway, after several hellos with a vegitative response I've given up on being polite or even further aquainting with this fellow. My teacher calls it dead fish. You shake someone's hand and it's limp. Airport Dud is totally Dead Fish.

Wednesday...out and over

So all day today I stressed out about EVERYTHING. I spent the end of last week crunching for classes and for my ASAP course. And then all day Friday and Saturday I was in class, so I didn't exactly get the practice time in that I had wanted to because I didn't find out my presentation material until the Friday class so I spent Friday night until the wee hours of Saturday working on my Saturday presentation. And then Sunday I was in class all day. When I got out I went to bed. But I still did my best for my lesson. Makes me feel like I can do even more for next week's lesson. Gosh...I can't wait for tomorrow and the next day. I want to be done with the wood shedding on Rossini and just be in the polishing artsy phase where all you do is analyze why you don't sound like Sharon Kam or Mr. Neidich.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Dear Mr. Neidich,

You play Rossini too fast. I'd advise laying off the expressos and prozac. I can't keep up. I hate your guts.

Sincerely,

LW

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Dear chavera Sharon,

You sound so good. I hate you too.

Yours truly,

LW

Citizens of Humanity

So I bought this vest by Citizens of Humanity on shopbop.com. They were 70% off and I've been trying to find a vest for a while. I have some long sleeve shirts that I like to pair with different outfits and this is the sort of thing I could use. Plus it's sophisticated, creates layers, and most importantly I like. I truly believe this is my most superficial post yet....

$$$

So today I made a little dough. And it's always nice to be putting money in the bank rather than taking it out, but I'm having the hardest time finding work right now :( On all other fronts things are looking up. Yay!

And Follow... Follow... follow.

"Try to remember

The kind of September

When life was slow

And oh so mellow

Try to remember

The kind of September

When grass was green

And grain was yellow ...

Deep in December

It's nice to remember

The fire of September

That made us mellow

Deep in December

Our hearts should remember

And follow ... follow ... follow ..."

I Used To Be Patient...

What happened?

Case of the Mundays...

Not quite. I had a tough time getting out of bed. But once I got rolling I got a lot done. Things went well. Instead of being one of those days where you can't get one thing right and it's just one thing after the next, I got a lot done and things that normally get screwed up went really well. T'was super. Anyway. Still a ways to go. Another four days to be exact. But a fresh, clean start doesn't hurt.

Movie Review

The Last Kiss: 4 stars

Great movie about a man encroaching his thirties and reaching a plateau. His main concern is that his life might end up being unpredictable. He gets a little lost but he learns that the love is experienced through actions not emotions. Zach Braff gives a great performance. I love him...The rest of the cast is hot too.

Snow Day

Here is my picture story:

I woke-up to my Women and Law teacher, Maggie, calling me to cancel class. I was so exstatic I went outside to revel in the snow! Oh snow...I love you!



Then Asher got upset that I was having all the fun so I let him out. And he got to see his first snow.

He did't know what it was and he started acting like a crazy cat...well, he is a crazy cat.

He decided to dig it all up and eat it!

And then he realized there were still birds around. But it was too cold so we went back inside.

Where he destroyed an imaginary pink bird.

And took a nap.

Before round two.

So Real

Here I am, looking out the window, watching the rain fall and seeing the people moving through it. The rhytmic taps on the ground, the surrounding chatter, the casual music; it's all surreal.
Surreal... do you think that means "so real"? Like suddenly it hits you how real everything is. Because earlier we were moving through the rain, ignoring it and doing our business; not really paying attention.





And then you watch other people move through it, going on with their business. And you realize how involved in your business you are. You remember the many things that you ignore, that you forget. You remember how small you are in this world; you remember how special you and each person are; you remember that everyone plays a part in this world, somehow, and you are another unique part of it.

It's ironic. A surreal experience doesn't feel real at all, but at a closer look, it reminds you of what is real.

Women and Law

So I had my first ASAP class last night, 6pm-9:38pm. And utterly loved it. Very small class and we discussed the material and women's liberation, feminism, and media and our culture. We watched Killing Us Softly 3. It was great. I've always been aware of how advertising sends us little big messages. But this video really showed me some I never thought of, but I could totally see it. There were some women in the class who honestly had no clue where the video was coming from. Very interesting....media brainwashing actually works....very scary!

Anyway, today is day two and I am pumped. I'm also going to be praying we get out early so that I can practice and still make it to the symphony tonight. 10:30am-6pm. Ouch!

Trial, Truth, and Error.

It's funny what you can try to convince yourself after something has happened. "I knew this was coming." "I didn't really like him that much in the first place." "There are other people that I think work better for me." The truth is, if all of those things were true, then I would have listened to them in the first place. I act on the feelings that feel most right (and sometimes that is simply what I want the most at the time). But If something truly did not feel right, I would listen to that feeling, because it is the strongest. I can't ignore it.

In the end, When you listen to those feelings, when you seek what is right, then everything works out the way it is supposed to. I might not understand why somethings happen, why somethings work certain ways, but I can cope with that. I am seeking what is best, even if I have to endure trial after trial to finally learn how to get there, and I still believe that everything works out the way that it is supposed to.

Not a fan of Global Warming, huh?

A global switch to efficient lighting systems would trim the world's electricity bill by nearly one-tenth. The carbon dioxide emissions saved by such a switch would, it concludes, dwarf cuts so far achieved by adopting wind and solar power. Wow. According to Paul Waide, a senior policy analyst with the IEA and one of the report's authors, "19% of global electricity generation is taken for lighting -- that's more than is produced by hydro or nuclear stations, and about the same that's produced from natural gas." For the individual TreeHugger, the report concludes that the easiest, most obvious switch to make is from incandescent bulbs to compact fluorescent systems, and to watch out for the LED revolution, just around the lighting corner.

Info available @ http://www.treehugger.com/files/2006/06/change_a_light.php

At the rate that we are going with over 150 new coal plants in the U.S. they (Energy Information Administration) say that by 2030 CO2 emissions will be up by 43%. Everybody agrees that the weather is getting crazy. And while some people appreciate the warm weather in Cincinnati in other parts of the world it means disaster and possibly death. In Oklahoma, it isn't snowing. It's solid ice 4 inches thick. In some areas school has been canceled for over a week. Oklahoma hasn't seen this sort of weather since the ice age. An area that is seriously unprepared for this sort of weather. Salt? No. They don't do that. They do tornados. Blizzards? Not till recently. National Geographic talks about the polar ice caps melting and 4-5 hurricanes happening in odd spots all in one year. New Orleans wasn't prepared for Katrina. But in the future, even with super levies can it survive ? Who really knows? All of this is completely unpredictable. But one thing you can count on is that it isn't going to stop. It will in all likelihood get severly worse.

All the technology we have and yet not millions, but literally many billions of people live in poverty? While they starve we are to contine to emit millions of tons of CO2 and who knows whatelse in to the air, poluting the world they live in. And if you use a damn lightbulb that uses less energy you save yourself a measily $8 and you emit less carbon into the air and what of it? That's great. So you fixed one problem, but oh yea. You don't recycle. And billions of people are starving. And can you believe that George's dad died on Grey's last night?

So it's always something. And you can't fix everything. But maybe the next time you are out shopping and you need to replace your incandescent light bulbs you can at least think about the flourescent ones that save you money...and maybe...buy them...and if you do then you are making a big change. One person. If you bought one flourescent light bulb it woud last you possibly years and every time you turn it on you will know that you are not emitting tons CO2 in the air, potentially making the world an even more horrible place to live in for the billions of people who are living below the poverty line all of the globe. Even if you aren't thinking about it, one action sets off a chain reaction.

P.S. Estimated potential $90 savings a year http://www.realsimple.com/realsimple/content/0,21770,1206333,00.html

At Least It's Clearer

The haze may lift, but that does not mean that it reveals an untangled mess. Thereis still a lot to work through, but at least it's clearer now. Maybe it can actually get somewhere.

oh so sleepy

i am pooped.

in the past 48 hours i have subsisted on 3 hours of sleep

Things Are Looking Up!

Or they will!

If you can't state the problem, then you can't find a solution for it.

Different issues have risen for me, and I couldn't understand where they were coming from. It turns out that they were spawning all from one issue. So now that I know what the problem is, I can finally do something about it.

And this week will soon be over for you Miss Les. Soon Soon Soon!

Oh Hell!

I have so much work to do I don't know when I'll get a chance to sleep. And thanks to Red Bull it might never happen.


Red Bull, I hate you.

Where's the problem?

My circumstances are incredible. Written on paper, I couldn't ask for more. They are ideal. So what's missing?

At some point I have to realize what's me and what's real. Aren't I real, though? So if something doesn't feel right, then something isn't right. But I might have to look elsewhere to find where the problem really is...

Until You

Everything was going well, and smoothely, like pieces of a puzzle, until you started feeling crazy and out of sorts; Now I'm crazy and out of sorts! Or did I start it?

Who's pointing fingers anyway!

Things are better... because I realize he doesn't mean to do anything; it's not a Guy-thing, it's a Gwenn-thing. More or less. So now that I know that it's something I have to do... I don't know what to do. Talk, learn to deal, make something happen...

Get your events settled down Miss Les so that mine will too! Please!

=)

chaos= my life

The next two days are going to be busy as hell. Rehearsals, lesson, reed class, and ASAP course for the weekend: two essays, read about 20 articles, journal, and a project...oh yea, and I have to compose a percussion piece. Oh Crap!!!

.*<><>**.....

Oh poop.

Sometimes I get ticked off. Anyway, after a little sleep at least thats gone.

Orion

David and I went to the Cincinnati Observatory last night to attend a class on the constellation Orion. It was a great class. I learned so much. And I think it was valuable because alot of the information I could have gotten off the internet, but what I learned from the class was how to use the information when you are actually staring at the night sky and trying to find the constellations. It also helped me visualize the depictions of the constellations better so that when I look at the sky I can see the stories. It was a great class. The only bad thing was that it was raining so we couldn't use the amazing telescopes they have there. But I totally intend on going back. If you have $5 in quarters laying around I highly recommend taking them to the Observatory, and they don't even mind! Actually...I didn'y even have quarters. I used nickels and dimes, and I even put in a shekel cause I ran out of quarters...oops...

I think....

it is time to practice my butt off!

Sour Cream Apple Pie

Rachel and I decided to bake a pie and watch season three of Northern Exposure.


























And it looked delicious. And I can promise you it was, is, and always will be.



RECIPE @ http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/recipe_views/views/13330

(Only I use 1 1/4 cups of suger for the filling...)

Oh Bloggers

So today I got all mixed up with the world of blogs and I was truly surprised at what I found.

Vibrant colors, tons of hot links, and just plain amazing blogs. People using amazing templates and getting rave reactions. Made me rethink how awesome this blog really is. It is awesome....to Gwenn and me that is.

But here are some blogs I just couldn't shake:

http://lenacorwin.blogspot.com/ http://rootmag.typepad.com/

http://flygirls.typepad.com/ http://featured.typepad.com/

http://lulublookerprize.typepad.com/

http://ohjoy.blogs.com/

and of course there are way too many more.....

An Artistic Mystery

This was my final project in my first studio. There was a lot about that year that was just a disappointment. But when you can see how beautiful those disappointments can be, it becomes simply precious.

How does this Hamas video make you feel?

So they don't plan to resolve issues diplomatically or through any sort of negotiation or reasonable pathways. They just plan to kill Israelis and their supporters. That sounds intelligent and reasonable to me. What about you?

Small print: I'm being sarcastic.

Ali G Show

New Developments in Darfur

Dear Reader,

I want to share some important news from Khartoum. New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson just released a joint statement with Sudanese President Omar Al-Bashir that, if implemented, would bring some immediate security and relief to the people of Darfur as well as provide a clear path forward to long-term peace in the region.


We asked Governor Richardson (pictured above) to travel to Sudan to discuss ways to secure peace in Darfur and to end the genocide. The Governor was accompanied by Save Darfur Senior International Coordinator Ambassador (ret.) Lawrence Rossin, Refugees International Executive Director Kenneth Bacon, and Public and International Law and Policy Group senior attorney Amjad Atallah. Since Sunday, when they arrived in Khartoum, Governor Richardson and the delegation have visited Darfur and participated in a variety of meetings with government officials, rebel leaders, humanitarian officials, AU commanders and UN officials.

The promises from President Bashir in this agreement are encouraging. They include commitments to:

A 60-day ceasefire with an international peace summit to be held before March 15, 2007.
Sudan's cooperation to work with the African Union and United Nations on the deployment of a hybrid peacekeeping force in Darfur.
Ensuring "zero tolerance" policies for gender-based violence in Darfur.
Free access for humanitarian aid workers and journalists.

Click here to read the full joint statement and the press release.
http://www.savedarfur.org/newsroom/releases/cease_fire_agreement_
offers_a_moment_of_opportunity_for_political_settlemen/

Your concerns for the people of Darfur were voiced directly to President Bashir by Governor Richardson and Ambassador Rossin. We believe that today's agreement offers a promising step forward to end this four-year nightmare for the people of Darfur. By no means, however, has the genocide ended.

We call urgently upon Sudan, the United Nations, the African Union, and the Bush Administration to make these promises become a reality for the long-suffering people of Darfur.

We must demand that the international community take advantage of this dramatic progress. Your help in this effort will be vital in the months ahead.

Thank you for your contribution to these new developments.

Best regards,

David Rubenstein
Save Darfur Coalition

Also see: http://www.governor.state.nm.us/press.php?id=338

Alicia de Larrocha

Jascha Heifetz

Sabine Meyer

Emma Johnson

Sharon Kam (m'Yisrael)

Bass Clarinet = Deep Sax

DARFUR. is happening right NOW.

More Websites about Genocide in Darfur:

http://www.ushmm.org/conscience/alert/darfur/steidle/?gclid=CNfUmY3w1IkCFQVYSAodxBqG2g

http://www.genocideintervention.net/index.php

http://www.darfurscores.org/

http://www.standnow.org/

http://hrw.org/reports/2004/sudan0504/

http://www.darfurisdying.com/

http://www.crisisgroup.org/home/index.cfm?id=3060&l=1#C2

http://www.doctorswithoutborders.org/news/sudan.cfm

There are so many sites dedicated to Darfur. Why is it important to check out these sites? Because you can't keep ignoring it. That's what we do. We see these things on TV but then we keep eating dinner with our families and talking about our days. But just across the ocean there are people who can't eat dinner with their families. And if they did, can you imagine what they would say about their days? Genocide happening for not the first time in the last hundred years. And what is so much worse than the slaying of a people is the world's indifference to it. It's not to say that people don't care. Look at all the websites, and I didn't even post half of the ones I found. Not to mention articles about Darfur. But nothing is happening. For example, if in one month alone only 10 people at every liberal arts university became interested and started to send letters to state representatives, to congressmen, to our UN representatives that would be a total of 460 people a month just with Ohio's liberal arts colleges. Think about how much of a difference your voice really can make.

There is an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond about voting. Debra runs for a position in the PTA. Raymond ofcourse, selfishly tries to foil her plot to win by voting for the guy who brought buffalo wings. Debra lost by one or two votes. Ofcourse, Raymond has a big fat mouth and gives himself away. Debra gets pissed and it's a night in the doghouse for Raymond. There are consequences for voting and not voting. Your voice makes a difference. Use it. Use it right. A choir isn't made up of one person. It's made up of a group of one persons. You are the one person that may be the tipping point in convincing someone in our government to actually make a difference.